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~bgrademovie

neen
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About Me Member General Writer bgrademovie26/Female/Australia Recent Activity Deviant for 3 Years
Needs Premium Membership Statistics 5 Deviations
923 Comments
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HomeShe runs from one partner to the next. She becomes subserviant in her own existence, from one type of abuse to another. She stops she looks around she finds better things ... but better only compared to an abusive past. She learns to want more, she craves it and needs it. Perseptions change, understandings no longer mean what they once did. It’s a chapter closed, a new book opened. She devours half of it and then stops, that was always the problem ... the devouring. She turns to the pages, and finally sees the words, and the stripes of ink. She learns to see the true colour of the ink and the paper, she begins to see the true colours of Home
by ~bgrademovie
Happy GirlIt wasn’t just her imagination, it wasn’t all in her head. They told her, it was official now.  She had thought for awhile that it was simply her slipping further and further into insanity. A mixture of her thoughts not understand the darkness. But it was there, the creature, the monster tearing her up from the inside, making everything seem harder, even the bare need to breathe.  
But they tell her it’s normal, it’s a reaction.  
But two years, two years of her ... can she put it down to the darkness.  What part of it was her and which was justifiable reaction, understandable reaction to what she Happy Girl
by ~bgrademovie
When You Asked MeI wasn’t when you asked me  The idea a fear  But now  I sit with the taste  Bitter and cold  The closest to blackness  I have gotten since  Memory came back  
I don’t want to remember  Any  Of the last 26 years  Not even you  When I think about that  I need the blackness more  Because  That was the one happy  And I was wrong  So I wasn’t when you asked me  I’m not sure what I would say  If you were to ask again When You Asked Me
by ~bgrademovie
Train RideI watch the wind caress the long grass as we painfully, slowly pass by in the failing train. I can sense its struggle but care more about my own inner turmoil than the plight of the train. I don’t worry if we break down entirely, it won’t bother me in the least. It would simply add to a day that I didn’t quite exist in. I watch the grass and envy its caressed blades. There is no air-conditioning in the train - of course not, the train is failing - and I feel the sweat run down the back of my legs like an unexpected period. Every movement feels like a tread under water.  We continue to move, slowly but surely toward the int Train Ride
by ~bgrademovie
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FRENCH AND SAUNDERS!!!!!`

Sun Jul 12, 2009, 6:11 AM
  • Mood: Happy
  • Listening to: cat purring loud as a chainsaw
  • Reading: World War Z, and three others
  • Watching: Constantine
  • Playing: bubble bash
  • Drinking: water
That's right folks I just got back from seeing the comic goddess and her chubby sidekick ;-) hahaha it was seriously the funniest damn thing EVER!!! I'm sure I they tehmselves heard my individual laugh over the whole place. I have the whole aching cheek thing from the inability to stop laughing. And WOW ... I don't care if she's 50+ Jennifer Saunders is one damn fine filly. I mean WHOLLY shit ... she is frickin HOT!!! And most definetly a comic GODDESS in my eyes.
It was such an amazing show ... 2 hours of Jennifer and Dawn running around make me laugh harder then I thought possible.
I am soooo glad I saw them live and had such a brilliant evening.
I also bought the program ... which is a whole tribute to their career together (30 years ... more then most marriages) and a tight titty t-shirt ... cos I just couldn't resist
:-)
I must to bed and at least attempt sleep before I head back to work tomorrow
:-)
bgrade

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:iconthis-silent-scream:
~this-silent-scream Jun 19, 2009, 3:50:04 PM
Neen!!
You probably don't remember me but here's giving it a shot ^_^ I'm riloffey from WAY back when. Back for another go-round with DA. Moving on from some life shit so I started a new account. Hope we can reconnect!

~Me
:iconbgrademovie:
~bgrademovie Jun 19, 2009, 4:56:34 PM
Hey hon, course I remember you, good to hear from you again
:-)
reconnecting is all the rage I hear ;-)
hehe

--
Cuz I looked up to see integrity finally won over desire - Ani Difranco "Manhole"
:iconthis-silent-scream:
~this-silent-scream Jun 19, 2009, 5:46:27 PM
How have you been?
Things have been pretty crazy for me but they are finally starting look up. Picking up the pieces of my life and moving on.
Did you have much success with Nano last year?
:iconbgrademovie:
~bgrademovie Jun 20, 2009, 4:16:06 AM
ahhh no alas, Nano fell by the wayside as my world got turned upside down and I was not surrounded by the support I needed.
Now ... my life is better than it has been in years. I am the happiest I have been and I smile for no reason but that I feel calm.
Things will be up and down as always life is but I'm learning to handle it better
:-)
anyway, enough ramble
lol
thanks for adding me
:-)

--
Cuz I looked up to see integrity finally won over desire - Ani Difranco "Manhole"
:iconthis-silent-scream:
~this-silent-scream Jun 20, 2009, 3:50:40 PM
Aww :( I was actually successful this year. Which was really nice. Shoved my way into a great group of writers and that helped tremendously.
That's wonderful Neen!! I'm so glad to hear you're doing well ^_^

Not a problem. I can't wait to dive into your gallery and see what goodies await me!
(1 Reply)
Flagged as Spam
:iconrarn-barn:
~RaRn-BaRn May 28, 2009, 10:52:24 PM
Thanks for watching me... again. :P Hope you like the new stuff :D

--
Thanks to words, we have been able to rise above the brutes; and thanks to words, we have often sunk to the level of the demons. - Aldous Huxley
:iconbgrademovie:
~bgrademovie May 29, 2009, 12:57:15 AM
how could I not
:-)

--
Cuz I looked up to see integrity finally won over desire - Ani Difranco "Manhole"
:iconrarn-barn:
~RaRn-BaRn May 29, 2009, 3:50:33 PM
Yup, you just can't resist my musk.

--
Thanks to words, we have been able to rise above the brutes; and thanks to words, we have often sunk to the level of the demons. - Aldous Huxley
:iconbgrademovie:
~bgrademovie May 31, 2009, 3:04:01 AM
hahaha
of course not
;-)

--
Cuz I looked up to see integrity finally won over desire - Ani Difranco "Manhole"
:iconrarn-barn:
~RaRn-BaRn May 31, 2009, 3:26:51 AM
I knew it. ;P

--
Thanks to words, we have been able to rise above the brutes; and thanks to words, we have often sunk to the level of the demons. - Aldous Huxley
:icondraic85:
~Draic85 Apr 1, 2009, 9:39:13 AM
Oh holy woah... what happened to your... everything??
I just, uh, dropped by to let you know I just finished reading To The Lighthouse - and it was amazing.
...
what happened???

--
Wishing you Motivation, Inspiration and Luck!
~ Draic :stereo:
:iconbgrademovie:
~bgrademovie Apr 2, 2009, 2:53:23 AM
I need to disappear for awhile, to get my head, my self and my life together again ... Thanks for the care factor though :-). I've let myself attack other things that weren't the real issue cos I was too busy in my head and all that jazz
haha, you probably didn't expect that big an answer
:-)
how are you though honey ... I check here every other day, out of obsessive conditioning :-)

--
It took me too long to realise that I don't take good pictures cos I have the kind of beauty that moves
- Ani Difranco "Evolve"
:icondraic85:
~Draic85 Apr 2, 2009, 4:10:01 AM
Ah I can understand that need to get away and consolidate. Hope what provoked it wasn't too messy.
I'm pretty good, getting over a cold, stressing about money, but i think making some small life progress. I believe I want to become a drama critic :) so i'm looking at more artforms and thinking more and hopefully writing about them.
Ha, you probably didn't expect this big an answer either.
Party next week if you'd like to come (provided there's going to be an actual turnout - I'm not sure yet, people are going holidays). Facebook invite, or I can text you. Love, sweetie. :)

--
Wishing you Motivation, Inspiration and Luck!
~ Draic :stereo:
:iconbgrademovie:
~bgrademovie Apr 4, 2009, 1:44:44 AM
You are wonderfully sweet.
Was messy but I'm doing so good now so that's totally a huge plus.
Text or call and we can organise the serenity love
:-)

--
It took me too long to realise that I don't take good pictures cos I have the kind of beauty that moves
- Ani Difranco "Evolve"
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